Cunning manipulation

I have refrained from sharing thoughts about the dark forces that affect our lives because, well, they are not uplifting! But, suffice it to say that due to some cunning manipulation on the part of someone who's always been that way and apparently will never cease while there's a breath left in the body, we are without childcare for this week because my husband's daughter won't be with us this week while we work after all, court orders apparently still holding no weight in the world some people operate in. I had daycamp all arranged, too, but the opportunity had been offered as a way to earn money.

OK, I feel better now getting that off my chest. The good news is while we've had a week or two of peace, my home has had a good spirit about it, the twins have been doing well, they are on track with a good bed time (leading up to school starting, though they don't start until mid Sept), and they are doing their chores faithfully. And, when this latest doozy occurred, they were pretty good about behaving whereas often this kind of drama affects them a lot, as you can imagine.

OK, that was too easy

OK, so twins came home from visit with Dad 2.5 days ago and the new TV scheme has been NO PROBLEM AT ALL because they really haven't wanted to watch TV! Well, that is because they each got 2 new Webkinz from Dad (and Sheridan bought a 3rd with her own money). They were very late bloomers to Webkinz, didn't get their first until after they turned 9 this year and that was all I intended them to have (thanks ex!). Their computer time is likewise limited, though, but they've been very cooperative with it. They've been extremely well behaved and have done the new chore set up we have so I'm happy with the current spirit and environment in the home. It's like they grew up while they were away for 4 days!

Blogger's Block

What I was afraid of would happen already has -- I went for a week without a blog entry! Last week was intensely busy with Cub Scout Day Camp all week 4-8PM and the kids were still in school, their last week, and believe it or not even had a project due on Wednesday! OK, so not so much "blogger's block" as no time.

I've known for some time that we have the TV on entirely too much in our house. The kids come home from school and immediately pop the TV on. We've programmed the downstairs TV to require a code, but the other TVs in the house don't have that same capacity and I don't stay on the situation enough to make a dent in the TV addiction. I'm very tempted to take all the TVs out of the house, but then how will *I* be able to watch TV? There are always full episodes streaming online ... :-)

What's driving this is, in short, mouthiness and unwillingness to change gears from that to any number of other worthwhile things. When summer came, even though the kids weren't done with year-round school, I got very lax because I was so glad that soccer, football, basketball, piano, and other classes were DONE!! and let them watch more TV -- and now it's out of control and the mouthiness -- whew! 3rd grade with a girl has been very hard on MOM! But, I know she sounds just like all the happy faces on Disney Channel and other "wholesome" TV channels -- not.

I decided to make a budget for the kids to choose to watch TV from. I'm going to allow up to 1/2 hour of "garbage" TV M-F and up to 1 hour from the approved list (the approved list is shows pulled from TLC, History channel, and Discovery). "Garbage" is anything else. Each child has their own sheet to circle their choices and/or write in their "garbage" choice. It took a little time to set up the spreadsheet, but hopefully will be easier to update. It does take some time, though, because I have to go through TV Guide online to pull the programming for these channels. In the future I will probably be able to just print the grid preferences straight from the TV Guide site and save myself the trouble, but I need to make it as easy as possible for the kids to see the choices and empower them to make their choices. And, I realize the total time they could possibly choose is still excessive. It won't work on the days they have activities, but we'll have to sort that all out, shifting to a new paradigm is more important right now than tightening the screws completely.

Kids have been with their dad for a long weekend so we'll see how well it goes when we unveil the plan tomorrow now!

P.S. We've watched a few DVD rentals lately and in several of them people were smoking. What's up with that?! Seems like a new trend to show smoking in movies again.

Seasons

Funny thing about Las Vegas is there aren't real seasons here. Well, if there is, there are two -- Hot and Not As Hot. So we don't have the 4 seasons here in nature to remind us of the seasons of our lives (I think Heavenly Father was wise in the design of seasons in the first place). The timing of discussions in Sunday School today were interesting because I just finally figured out about the "seasons of our lives" and discussion today about Alma in the Book of Mormon ("For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors") tied right into this newfound knowledge. We often talk about how this life is to learn and grow and that is true, but I just recently figured out about the seasons in our lives and how there are periods of our life that certain things need to be done and lessons learned during that time and that time only. If we procrastinate, it may be too late.

One such example we've had to come to terms with is after my miscarriage in 2003, I was unable to try to get pregnant again for one year (because of the type of miscarriage it was). That was devastating news at my age, but the pregnancy (it had become cancerous) also scared me so much. We halfheartedly tried again after the waiting period was up, but we weren't on the same page and that was that. The decision was not one made in the correct manner, but sometimes fear and other human emotions overrule God's will. Now if we put our hearts back into it, it's probably too late. That season of our life (well, OK, "MY" life) is probably gone.

There were other seasons before this -- a season to be young, a season to come of age into adulthood. There are preparatory seasons now that will have great bearing on seasons to come for example the need to get and stay out of debt will affect our "sunset" years is one very tangible and easy to grasp one. Then there are the preparations we make now for the life to come that can seem nebulous to our limited understandings.

It's funny how it's only in hindsight that one gains a perspective oftentimes. So I hope to be able to teach some of this to my kids, though I know they will need to get to their own season of realization like I did, too. And, I am grateful for knowledge of a gospel that understands that sometimes our understanding comes in hindsight and we need the atonement and a lot of time to learn so that we can prepare to return to heaven one day.